How To Make Friends – And Build A Community – As An Adult
Let’s face it, making friends as a kid was easy. But as adults? Life gets busier, social circles shift, people move away, and suddenly making a new friend can feel like trying to join a group chat where everyone already knows the inside jokes.
At be.retreats, we see firsthand how powerful new connections can be. Many of our guests arrive not knowing a single person and leave with a new circle of friends. The truth is, you can create deep, lasting friendships at any age, you just need the right approach (and a little willingness to step outside of your comfort zone).
Here’s how to make friends as an adult - without it feeling like a work networking event.
1. Start With Shared Interests
Friendship thrives on common ground. Think about what you genuinely enjoy - hiking, pottery, running, reading, yoga and put yourself in spaces where those things happen. It’s much easier to connect with people when you’re doing something you love together.
Even better, shared activities give you an instant conversation starter, so you don’t feel like you have to force small talk.
2. Put Yourself Where the People Are
Building on point one means you may have to leave your comfort zone (and your sofa). Attend events, join a local group, try a class, or go on a retreat. At be.retreats, our trips create the perfect environment for people to meet - you’re sharing experiences, meals, and laughter in a setting that naturally acts as an icebreaker. The result? Conversations that go deeper than “so… what do you do?”
3. Be the One Who Makes the First Move
It’s easy to wait for others to take the lead, but if you really want to make new friends, sometimes you’ve got to be the one to make the first move … even though it can feel terrifying. The thought of having a conversation with a stranger may send a wave of anxiety through you. But here’s the thing, you don’t have to go all in right away. Start by putting yourself out there first, and once comfort, a casual invite, like asking the person you’ve been chatting with at Pilates to grab a coffee after class, or suggesting a quick walk with a colleague, is a simple way to test the waters. Most people are open to connecting, and by taking that first step, you’re opening the door to a potential friendship. Yes, it’s scary at first, but remember - you’ve got nothing to lose and so much to gain from taking a leap of a faith!
4. Go for Depth, Not Just Breadth
You don’t need a dozen “friends” you only see on birthdays. Instead, focus on building deeper relationships with a handful of people you genuinely connect with. This means stepping out of your comfort zone, being curious , asking questions, and actively listening to others.
5. Be Patient
Making friends isn’t an instant gratification process. It takes time. Just like dating, you might not click with everyone you meet - and that’s perfectly okay. The key is to keep showing up, being open, and letting friendships grow at their own pace.
6. Stay in Touch (Without It Feeling Forced)
Once you’ve made a connection, nurture it. Send a quick message when something reminds you of them, tag them in a funny meme, or check in just to say hi. Small gestures build trust and keep the friendship alive between hangouts.
Making friends as an adult might feel scary and require you to force yourself outside of your comfort zone, but it’s entirely possible - and incredibly rewarding. Whether you find your people on a retreat, at a local community class, or through a mutual hobby, those connections can bring more joy, laughter, and support into your life than you realise.
At be.retreats, we’ve watched strangers become soul friends in just a few days - proof that it’s never too late to find your people.
